On Traveling With (and Without) Kids

“People say that what we are all seeking is a meaning for life.  I don’t think this is what we’re really seeking.  I think what we’re seeking is an experience of being alive.” I read this quote somewhere and it has always stuck with me. I think that feeling of “alive” is when you truly feel like you’re in your element, and you’re fully awake, aware, and energized. And for me, traveling is definitely one of those times when I feel the most alive!

I have always had major wanderlust. Considering that I grew up on three different continents (Africa, South Asia, and the United States), I suppose this was inevitable, and it is simply in my fibers. I love every part of traveling — planning for it, the anticipation of it, the experience itself, and then of course the cherished memories after the trip. And I love sharing this passion with my family. And there are oh so many benefits of traveling with kids!

Exposing your children to the beauty, diversity, and immensity of this world. This to me is perhaps the biggest advantage. My kids are growing up in a pretty bubbled environment in a safe and cozy suburb of Kansas, and although I am so happy to provide them with the privileges and safety they have, I do want them to learn about the vastness and wonders of this world. I want them to witness the beauty, learn about the histories and cultures of other countries, attempt new adventures, and really understand in their little hearts how much is out there to experience! So whether it is learning how to ski in the snow-drenched mountains of Utah, taking a historical tour of the Tulum Mayan ruins, or walking on and drinking fresh water from glaciers in Banff National Park, I cherish the opportunities for my children to have these unique experiences! And I hope it inspires them, broadens their imaginations, fills them with awe and wonder for the world, and has an impact on how they view and approach the world going forward.

It’s just plain fun! Of course traveling comes with its share of challenges, hiccups, and hurdles. I often share the story of how my husband and I “ambitiously” took our then three and one-year old sons on a Disney Cruise to the Bahamas, only for us all to fall ill on the ship and stay confined to our small cabin with bouts of vomiting and diarrhea! But thankfully, that trip was an outlier. For every Disney cruise disaster memory that I have, I have ten other highlights — and I mean glorious, breathtaking, spectacular, wouldn’t-exchange-this-for-anything highlights! And the earlier you start traveling with kids — and the more you do it — the easier it becomes in the future. Most recently we went on yet another trip to Disney World, and I have such magic memories of my daughter lighting up in utter delight upon meeting the princesses! And of my sons completely thrilled after experiencing the Avatar and Tron rides. And we have tons of similar memories from numerous other trips! What’s not to love about a family having fun and making memories together?

Reset and bond as a family. Traveling is an exceptional opportunity to escape from the normal grind of daily life and to unplug, reset, and bond as a family. We are usually all over the place in our day-to-day lives with jobs, homework, extracurricular activities, errands, social commitments, and so on and so forth. But, when we’re traveling, all of those distractions disappear, and it’s intense one-on-one time day in and day out as a family. And yes, at times we do get on each other’s nerves (or rather, I start losing it on the kids for not doing one thing or another to help me during the trip!), but I would not trade this wholesome family bonding time for the world! It’s also a great way to hit reset on life — including family routines. There’s nothing like completely stepping out of your daily life to reflect on it — the things that are working and the things that are not — and then come back to it with a refreshed perspective. My kids usually come back from our trips with a renewed appreciation for the comforts of home, including the “basics” like their beds, their gadgets, and their “quiet” time. And we usually have the opportunity to have lots of meaningful conversations with them during the trips about their daily lives and changes we might implement when we return.

Learn about ourselves and each other. Traveling has an uncanny way of showing you who you are and also teaching you more about your fellow travelers. When my husband and I first started traveling as a couple, we realized I was the more detail-oriented and organized one who would meticulously research and plan the whole trip, but he was the more resilient and resourceful one who kept things positive and turned things around when they went awry during the trips. Like calmly talking to hotel staff and finding out medication that was safe for me to take when I broke out into hives on a trip to a beach town in Turkey while pregnant. Or making a last-minute change to our flight so that we could fly to Istanbul on a Saturday instead of a Sunday because we found out the Grand Bazar is closed on Sundays, and I was almost in tears because that was the place I was most looking forward to visiting! Similarly, with my kids, I have learned that my oldest is a city boy and a foodie. He would rather be in the presence of the skyscrapers, bright lights, and hustle and bustle of cities like New York and Las Vegas than taking road trips through national parks. He also loves discovering and eating at unique restaurants. On the other hand, my younger son is more of an adventure and thrill seeker, who wants to jump off cliffs into cenotes in Mexico, snorkel in the ocean, and take a row boat out into the gorgeous and expansive lakes of Banff. He also loves shopping for trinkets, just like me, and the two of us will make sure to escape at some point or another to get our souvenir fix!

Pushes you outside your comfort zone and builds quality traits like resilience and open-mindedness. Over time, traveling makes you imbibe some pretty solid traits. Personally, I have become more of a resilient traveler like my husband. When things don’t go our way, I can now shrug it off and pivot to the next best option (which usually holds some unexpected, happy surprises!). I’ve also gotten better at letting go of my perfectionism — it’s okay if we hop on the wrong train and miss our reservation at the fancy restaurant or if my hair tools don’t work abroad and I have “crazy” hair in all my photos! I have also gotten better at being present in the moment. During our first few trips as a couple without the kids, I would worry a lot about the kids and also about being away from work. But now I am much better at compartmentalizing. I only worry about kids and work while traveling if I have a legitimate reason to. Finally, I think traveling has made me even more adventurous! When I am traveling, I am already outside my comfort zone, so the wheels are already greased in a way to further test my parameters! And all these traits I have honed during traveling I can apply to my daily life too! Similarly, I hope traveling pushes my kids outside their comfort zones and gifts them with a number of handy traits over time, like curiosity, imagination, resilience, open-mindedness, flexibility, courage, confidence, respect for other countries and cultures, and a thirst to experience more and more of life.

Finally, I highly encourage taking trips without kids as well. My husband and I have been lucky to have the resources and support from grandparents to take several trips as a couple over the years. It is an amazing way for us to reconnect away from the daily humdrum of life, re-spark the romance, relax and unwind, and share something that belongs to just the two of us! From marveling at the grandeur of the Colosseum in Rome, swimming in an infinity pool overlooking the jungles of Bali, to riding camels through a desert near Dubai, our travels as a couple are some of my most cherished memories and when I have also felt the most alive!