On Body Positivity

The topic of our bodies is so loaded and also filled with many contradictions and dichotomies. For instance, I will admit that even though I feel very empowered about my body, I still step on a scale every single morning and spend a considerable amount of time thinking about my work-outs and diet because I care about its appearance, which does impact my confidence. Also, I know plenty of women who no matter how hard they work out or how much they control their diets, their bodies will never fit society’s (warped and one-dimensional) standard of what is considered “attractive” because genetics is such a huge factor. Below, I will offer some mental “hacks” to enable an ethos of body positivity, but at the same time, I cannot deny that in our society the way we look is “currency” — it can open doors and change the way the world receives and reacts to you. Nevertheless, and despite all the above, I offer below some ideas and philosophies that I find quite empowering because they allow me to think about and view my body in a healthy framework.

I try to focus more on what my body has done and continues to do for me rather than how it looks. And viewed from this angle, my body is absolutely crushing it. The fact that I am able to get up every morning in good health and accomplish all the things that I do in 24 hours. The fact that my body can run and bike and swim and dance and brings me great joy through so many of those physical avenues. And of course, for us mamas who have been blessed with the tremendous ability to bear children — I mean, come on, that’s a mic drop! The fact that our bodies have the capacity to grow entire humans from tiny seeds planted in our wombs, are able to endure the strain of labor and delivery, then nurture our newborns with breastmilk, and “bounce back” to handle all the regular activities of daily life, should inspire nothing short of deep awe and respect for what our bodies can do!

I try to view my body as a very helpful ally rather than a taken-for-granted servant. In other words, I think of my body as a completely separate person — and a person who has been extremely helpful and beneficial to me. Viewed through that lens, would we ever berate or demean a friend who has been at our service, at our beck and call, and enabled us to accomplish many amazing things in this lifetime? No way. We would love and honor such an ally, treat them gently and with respect, and take good care of them. And when this ally began to age, would we mock and diminish them? No way, we would be encouraging and understanding, and we would accept their age with tenderness and pride. But more on this later — you can expect to see a whole separate post on gentle aging!

I try to remember that my body is not my identity. It is not who I am. Most recently, I was reading a book called Solve For Happy by Mo Gawdat, which talks about how we should think about our bodies as simply a vehicle through which we travel through this life. And just like we don’t base our entire identities on whatever car we currently are driving, we should not mistake our bodies to be one and the same as who we are. I think this framework helps to form a somewhat healthy mental distinction from our bodies — if you’re currently not feeling great about how your body looks, you should not beat yourself up about it because you are so much more than just your body! And similarly, if you’re currently feeling really good about how your body looks, that’s wonderful, but at the same time, don’t turn that into your entire identity and personality, because you have so much more depth and dimension than that!

A few more thoughts on the topic of our bodies. This is not a fitness blog, and I certainly would not pretend to be any sort of fitness influencer, but I do heartily urge all women to make it a habit to regularly work out! Not because it impacts the way we look (which of course, it does) but because it has such huge health benefits – both physical and mental. I only started working out in earnest after my second child was born, at which time I hired a trainer for the first time, who encouraged me to start lifting weights in addition to cardio and to control my diet. Those two things have been so life-changing. And once you get into the habit of working out and eating healthy, you really can’t stop! And if I am feeling crappy and simply need to change the vibe of the day, lifting some weights while blaring music on my headphones, riding my Peloton bike for a brisk 20 minutes, or playing a round of tennis, can do such magic! And by regularly working out, we are setting such a good example and being such good role models for the younger eyes that are watching us.

In closing, let’s encourage and uplift one another to embrace our bodies in whatever healthy ways empower each one of us! And let us not feel shame in the way we choose to embrace our bodies — despite the prying eyes and noisy opinions of society — whether it be in the way we dress or the physical activities we wish to pursue! And finally, let’s always remember that we are so much more than just our bodies!